FIXING THE PUZZLE (episode 1)
Sleep after her usual heavy lunch on Sundays had gradually become a routine for Carla. One she loved to refer to as self-care, before a stressful week began. It was therefore worrisome and irritating when her self-made banku with okro stew, layered with cow hide, crab, goat meat and dried salmon couldn’t drown the noise of her thoughts.
A random conversation with her “low maintenance” buddy Kwame, who she spoke to occasionally but for long on those few occasions, had left her in thinking mode with her legs propped against the wall, her back on the bed and her gaze on the ceiling. His jovial “all this, is to end up in some man’s kitchen”, after she mentioned she was now in grad school pursuing higher learning, had left her questioning her motives and the very bane of her existence.
Was that all there was to life? Her life? Is that really why God made her? If yes, why all the numerous talents, attributes and gifts? Moreover, she didn’t exactly need to have smart brains to be a mother or wife. The Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t reported to have aced any academic exams anyway.
Yes, she intended to get married one day and she was going to do all she could to make it work but did it really mean trading all her dreams for a piece of finger jewellery and certificate? Was that God’s only plan for woman? And if that was, why did Esther have a role of saving her people, a whole nation while still being a wife; a mighty wife at that, ruling as a queen. What of Deborah? She was a woman, yet, she was called by God and ordained to lead her people as a prophetess and a judge. Mary carried Jesus without the permission of Joseph, her parents or her friends; the angel appeared to Mary and only she bore the pains of the transformational birth.
An inner awakening had come up. Something had stirred up in her and there was some hunger and deeper longing within, one Carla just couldn’t explain. This search transcended career path and choices. Even pay checks. What would set her soul on fire? What would keep her awake all night, knowing her maker will be pleased in her?
Even career wise, could it be she was terrible at certain fields just because they did not align with her purpose? Is that why she was born on the day she was and even at that particular time? Why was she utterly upset always, when she heard things like a child being sexually molested or forced into promiscuity because of financial problems? Of all the many possible things that could excite her, why did she feel thrilled when she was able to be of help to someone genuinely in need?
Yawning now, Carla straightened herself on the bed, propped up her pillow and turned towards the wall. She had no exact answers yet, but she definitely was going to find some, and very soon at that, because as far as she, Carla Nora Bartels was concerned, she was too loaded to be ordinary. She considered herself a full package; a package of too much value to be considered mediocre. She was the “handle-with-care” kind of package.
At 24, she was on a mission. A mission to discover her purpose and figure out ways to fulfil it to the maximum. She knew what she was after would lead to a long road: a road of emotions, a road of uncertainties, a road of plenty prayers and another of excitement. But for some strange unexplainable reason , the intensity of the journey excited her.
Smiling to herself, her lips curled up at the ends as she dozed off peacefully, excited she had answered the first question and established that, she wasn’t just existing, but had a particular task, that was tagged to her name right from birth. A task she was bent on figuring out.
……..to be continued.